Relating with the Students

I have always wondered why my students are in a state of stupor whenever I ask "why" questions and require them to speak in English until what happened today.

The High school faculty had a meeting this afternoon. They announced that August will the be "Buwan ng Wika" and everybody agreed to have the meeting done in Tagalog. Yipes! I thought I'd carry along well since I spent 16 years of my life talking in Tagalog. But when I was about to ask a question regarding the Coordinator's presentation, conscious that I should speak in Tagalog, I found myself grappling with the language. I was about to raise my hand, but then immediately withdrew it because I realized I couldn't translate my question to tagalog. As soon as it struck me, I gave up. I actually gave up on my own question. I was never able to ask the question no matter how important that I get an answer for my question was.

[I just couldn't believe it! I couldn't speak well in tagalog anymore. It requires more effort for me to speak in tagalog than to speak in english. When I was in high school, I had to translate my tagalog thoughts into english before I could recite. Things are not the opposite: I have to translate my english thoughts into tagalog! Eeeps!]

And with this incident, I could not understand my students who may be having a hard time reciting in class. They probably have ideas to share but it is just that they are in tagalog and could not translate them into english well. I am sure they can translate it but it will require time and effort on their part. This means that I will have to give them more thinking time so that they are more able to participate during class discussions. Perhaps, I could give them guide questions to bring home before we discuss a selection in class.

Yup! That's it. That's what I'll do. :)

After four years...

since my last entry in my student journal, I feel like I am back to square 1. I was re-reading my accounts and I am amazed at the level of reflection I had when I was still a new teacher, and how much determination I had to really improve my teaching.

Not that I am not determined now, but more of I am taking my years of teaching experience for granted. Despite being a teacher for some years, I think I still ought to teach as if I were still a new teacher. I ought to still continue looking for means and ways to prop up my classes and motivate my students more. I think I have just become more "result" oriented rather than method oriented.

In a new school

Here I am also after five years, in a new school. I left Rosehill thinking that i could save more money if I stay with my parents in Sta. Rosa where I won't be too concerned for my laundry, food, and shelter expenses. I never thought I'd blend in in La Salle Canlubang. I have to admit, I got a it intimidated by the college students I saw during summer. I also got initimidated by the teachers who observed me when I did my demo teaching. I thought I'd get a culture-shock from teaching in an exclusive girls' school to a semi-elite co-ed provincial school.

Boy am I glad all my fears are actually unreal! I blended well with my colleagues and the students are not that snotty as I thought they would be. :)

To tell you honestly, in just two months, I already feel like a La Sallian. I felt like I've been a La Sallian all my life! Exagg? Maybe a bit but there is some truth to it. But! I still cannot take away my UA&P spirit. I still owe my university my whole life. I don't know what kind of person I would have become had I gone to my university of choice (i.e. DLSU-Taft!). I hope I can bring the UA&P ideals to La Salle. Get the best of all the worlds, synthesize, and voila, we have a collection of all the best practices. :)

From Acting Like a Teacher to Thinking Like a Teacher

When I entered my first ever class, I don’t remember having to psyche myself up repeating to myself, “I am a teacher, I am a teacher, I am a teacher…” I knew how my teachers in high school were and I definitely did not want to act or look like them. I entered that class with a lot of naturalness maybe because my objective there was very clear in my mind: that I am responsible over these kids’ education and their future. If I went inside that classroom with money in my head, I am quite sure that I will act like a teacher and not think like a teacher. Yes, I was into theater before but teaching in real life is never acted but you do act a lot if you are the literature teacher if you want to give the students some ideas on how the story is portrayed. To think like a teacher, one must have the objectives clear in one’s mind. The teachers do not have a script to follow when they enter the classroom because the students are not part of the script. They are the script writers and the teacher only edits their script and directs the play that they wrote. The teachers are not the actors of the play for they are not the star…they do not—should never!—take centerstage.

The teachers are not tyrants. They do not deal with mere machines. They deal with individuals with souls. She has to look at her students as persons so in this way, she learns to be flexible with her students and there are no rigid rules to follow for all the classes. If the teacher keeps this in mind, she will not end up acting like a teacher (who teacher is she imitating?) but to think like a fair and just teacher. She deals with her students knowing that they all have the same and deserving dignity.

But I can’t help falling into acting like a teacher sometimes because the uniform that we wear for teaching sort of puts a spell on me…it gives me a bit of dignity I guess that separates me from my students. Maybe the uniform just reminds to be responsible over them because it affirms my authority—more of responsibility due to profession—over them. Paralleled with my masteral subjects in the university, I have to change outlook when I am with my classmates because I start feeling more of a student again although keeping my students in mind. One time, I already felt like a schizo feeling like a student one day and a teacher in another. When I started being part time in Rosehill, I was in the middle of feeling like a student who teaches and a teacher who studies. But I tend to think that I am more of the latter. I am a teacher who studies to improve because I want to serve the others. I want to give them a kind of service that no other profession can offer.

On Keeping the Enthusiasm and Motivation

I got burned out towards the end of the quarter. It was the height of my requirements in the university. I practically give my time off the university to my job. So what’s left of my research time for my masteral subjects? Nothing! Well, of course, I’m just exaggerating. But it really did burn me out. There is practically no more time to prepare LPs for classes and to review the readings for the class. Imagine…I’m teaching three different levels which equates to doing three preparations in contrast with having one year level, three sections, and just one LP preparation. I’m doing a load of three teachers!!! Wouldn’t this turn you nuts? Wouldn’t this kill your enthusiasm? I did lose my enthusiasm and motivation towards the end of the quarter and only desired to sleep everything away. Just then I thought that salary is my only motivation. But when I entered my first class of the week and went on with my usual class, somehow, I started feeling very light and rejuvenated! I suddenly forgot about my tiredness and headache. We were having fun discussing and even laughing at times. It is a different feeling when you are already inside the classroom surrounded by bubbly and active students. I went out of the classroom smiling and entered the faculty room frowning again seeing all the things that I have to do. Sigh…If only I could stop thinking of the things that I have to do so I could keep that smile on my face. It became a pattern. I would feel lazy to go to class but when I am already there, I forget all the things that worry me, and after class I am worried again. Even if I think that I’ll be fine once I step into the classroom, I still felt lazy to go. It’s just like a spell that I am in. MY STUDENTS PUT A SPELL ON ME!!! But what a good spell! This is the beauty of the teaching profession: that you really get tired preparing which can even stress you out and the joy of the actual teaching. Now I understand why the book of Dr. Torralba is entitled “The Joys of Teaching” and not “The Joys of Preparing Lesson Plans”! But of course, I still believe in the help that LPs give a teacher.

I am actually easy to enthuse. I am pretty much self-motivated. I just have to go to a bookstore and immerse myself in Literature books or just simply browse through them and already get high! My classes in the university gives me added motivation as well because it gives me new ideas on pedagogy which I try to apply in the real setting as soon as I can and remember. One thing I’m sure: a teacher can never be motivated by money forever or let’s just say that a real teacher is never motivated by money because THERE IS NO MONEY IN TEACHING! (Not unless you are going to teach in the tertiary level, right?) It is not an easy job to be a teacher, but enthusiasm and real interest in the children’s education ease the requirements a bit. But of course, we cannot neglect the fact that we need money to satisfy the basic needs of the human person like food.

Sometimes, thinking of the future of my students motivate me to teach them well. I also have to admit that at times I demand a lot from my students. I expect college quality papers from them. I give them these requirements so that they get good training from high school so when they reach college, they already have good writing skills which most freshies lack when they get to college. I also have to admit that at times, I also feel very proud of the works of my students. In fact, a student’s paper is much better than my own freshman college paper in Literature! I want them to be proud of this skill when they get to college so they would not have a hard time like I did. This is what motivates me to teach: I don’t want them to experience the same difficulty I had when I started college. Sometimes, they would tell me, “Miss, we are not yet college students and you already ask us to write a thesis paper!” They’ll appreciate what I demand from them when they get to college. Of course, I want them—the first batch of Rosehill most especially—to be proud of their school for training them well in written and verbal communication.

On Classroom Discipline

I never had any disciplinary problems with my Grade 7 and Year II students. I would only have a problem with the Year II opening the windows of their classrooms (they don’t open a single pane at all!) and with the Home Economics materials of the Grade 7 on their desks as I enter their classroom. I always give the Grade 7 a minute to fix their desks and do a little sweeping. For the Year II, I always make sure that they open the windows first before we begin the class. The second years never got the habit of opening their windows. This is because I never punished them if I come in the classroom with closed windows. I would give them a reason why they should open the windows but it seemed that they do not care. I would always remind them that we cannot live breathing on each other’s carbon dioxide. It’s cute but never worked…probably later in their lives.

As for the “lovable” first years, as I would like to call them, I really have a hard time on a group of students’ tendency to talk nonsense with their seatmates during class. I am teacher with a soft heart and I cannot shout at them or lift my finger and tell them to go out. It already reached a point that I had a heart to heart talk with this class about their talkativeness. I know it was wrong for me to talk to the whole class when it is only a group—actually a row of them and the front row! I made sure that they feel understood. I even told them that I was talkative myself when I was their age, but that I never talked as if there wasn’t any teacher in front to hear me. It was then that established two class rules: keep it to yourself and talk with a 10-inch voice. One of them already formed an acronym of KITtY for the first rule. When I look at her, she says KITtY and covers her mouth. I also learned to move around the classroom so they would be cautious. I would see students doodling and trying to hide it as if I did not see it. I also dealt with this. I really cannot stop them totally from doodling. Again, I told them that I also doodled. I understand them completely because even when I was doodling, I could still listen to the teacher. So I told them that it’s okay to doodle as long as they can still follow the discussion, but if not, they should stop doodling. Reflecting on this, I think I am a high school teacher with college disciplinary techniques. Another insight to this reflection is that now I realize that teachers really have to be constant with her rules so that they become authentic rules to be followed and not just mere enumeration of imperative sentences. They have to be applied if discipline is to be fostered as well in the classroom. Why do I have to learn this the hard way?

On Classroom Routine

Why is it only with the Grade 7? It is only with my Grade 7 class that I have the habit of writing down the class outline on the board. They are not even that hard to discipline. Whenever I enter the Grade 7 classroom, I try to write the outline on the board so that we could finish the class on time and finish what we are supposed to tackle for that period. I probably do this because this class has a tendency to divert from the topic. They always ask questions that will veer the discussion away from the topic. They would start relating the lesson to concrete situations with their “It’s like…” and “Parang yung…” Then another will try to add to it and another and another and another until we are already talking about the latest movie! It’s good that the students comprehend the lesson and apply it to their lives but I guess not so much. So I have to look at the board again and try to cut the story-telling with utmost refinement. See why I need an outline for this class?

Usually, I begin my classes with 5-question quizzes based on the reading assignment given to them last meeting. This is a technique I learned in college. It really helped me read the handouts before class (and actually taught me how to read and understand fast as well!). I am quite sure that even if this technique does not push them to read the handouts, it will take effect sooner or later. Actually, this class did not need anymore quizzes to make them read because they read the stories beforehand. They probably do this because the story was interesting—or how simple it was translated. (We are taking up “The Adventures of Ulysses.) I do the same with the higher levels. With the first years, I don’t see it working. I would always get scores ranging from 0 and 2. Only 2 or 3 students get the most 4 correct out of 5. They still do not read! I realized because they are reading “The Iliad” translated by W.H.D. Rouse. I have to admit that I personally do not like the way this version is printed: small font, single-spaced, brown paper, dark ink, and no pictures. The class confessed finally that they did not like how the book was written. Then I thought that it would be better for them to use the Fitzgerald version of “The Iliad.” (I suggested it to the authorities and I think they are going to take it.) Of course, I cannot blame the book for their laziness to read the book. I also have a fault on my part. I probably was not able to motivate them enough to read it. I did try my best to share with them my enthusiasm for the epic but it just would not get through them! They are just too interested in love and not in war.

The second years are a different case. I seldom give them quizzes because they read on their own. They just have a natural interest in the selections. Even without the quiz, they are able to read the handouts. I have to admit that some are not able to read, but are able to contribute to the discussion because they can follow very well. Since we were discussing the Prologue of the Canterbury Tales, it was easy for them to read during the class itself. (The Prologue is an enumeration and description of the different pilgrims.) We only discuss two or three pilgrims a day. Come to think of it, maybe because my questions are also answerable without having to read the selection. Is that bad? Maybe…

After the quiz, we start the discussion. At times, I would write the questions that need to be answered on the board so the students are guided properly. Hey, I think this is a very good classroom routine for Literature classes. In this way, the students anticipate the questions to be discussed and the flow of the discussion in general. This could also help the slower ones by giving them enough time to think about the answers to the questions and be able to participate. I would also regularly have group works. This is something that the students like. It helps them talk in a smaller group. This makes everyone participate in one way or another: either to talk or to just simply listen to the ideas of others.

Then I end the discussion by summarizing the ideas that came out during the discussion then assigning the reading for next meeting. Sometimes, I also give them an idea on what the discussion would be about for next meeting. Something just crossed my mind…it is good to give guide questions for their reading assignment so they have a direction to take as they read the chapter assigned to them. I never got the habit of giving them guide questions. This is probably something I neglected and could have contributed to a good or better discussion on the stories.

22 February 2001, Thursday

Classes were cut short today because the students have to practice for the Family Day—the greatest day in Rosehill or in any PAREF school at that—this Sunday. I felt very deprived of my classes because the same thing happened last Thursday. Actually, I felt a little weird because I was half disappointed and frustrated, and half glad. I was half glad because I did not have to teach. Sometimes, I feel this way because the traveling stresses me a lot and drains out all the energy out of me. So when I get to school I feel very tired already! Since I felt frustrated and that I needed the time with my students to finish the content—Yikes! what about the depth?—I went to my class and ready to discuss. I’m back with my only class for today, the second years. They were complete today and I noticed the difference in the class from last Monday. The only ones reciting were the top students. I would hear murmuring of answers sometimes, but were afraid to say it loudly. I would call on those people murmuring and they chicken out. I think, they are afraid that their answer would be wrong. It is a sad picture I should say. In these cases, I should have had group works so they would be divided into four smaller groups and in that way, each one has a chance to contribute to the discussion. This is probably why they loved group discussions. They commented this in their evaluation of the teacher and how the classes were conducted. They like groups discussions but I don’t think I can leave them alone every single period in groups. As an authority and a believer of balance—of virtue!—I still felt the need to facilitate discussion sometimes to give them ideas, aide them in their mental processes and all these things. When I leave them with their groups, there is always one who acts like a moderator of the discussion, and they would do the same as I would do during class discussions. Wonderful! I was very happy to hear moderators in each group and I’m glad they learned a little…I actually do not want to take the praise on me because I am sure there are other teachers who could be better than I am in the questioning method or I am sure that some of the students are just geniuses and they have an innate skill to question. Sigh…the joy of teaching and knowing that others are learning from you is indeed incomparable with any other profession!

19 February 2001, Monday

Authority. I have always thought that this should never be lost in a classroom. I remember the discussion I had with Dr. Toralba on my idea of what a teacher should be. I talked to him about the value of friendship in dealing with the students. I also pointed out to him that the challenge on the teacher lies on knowing where to draw the line between friendship and authority. I have always been a synthesizer of ideas and this is one of those that I want to make ends meet. I know I cannot be at all chummy-chummy with my students all the time, but it helps a lot because they listen to you.

Since I thought that I have already bonded with my students well enough—being in a seminar with them for 3 days and 2 nights, being their adviser for a school year, teaching them for three years on different subjects, and being with them in the school bus for two years—I thought I need to sharpen on my authority. Yes, yes, I know it’s stupid of me to just work on this now when this should have been worked out on when I started teaching. Sometimes I feel that they are already abusing my closeness to them that they can dictate the due dates of their papers or they freely ask me for a free period and put the class aside. It’s only now that I took this word “authority” seriously.

I entered my first class today with AUTHORITY written on my mind. I greeted the first years a “Good Morning” and I waited for everyone to stand up to greet me back. When I noticed that some people seem to behave as if I were not there, I called their attention mentioning their names “Good morning, Sanndra. Good morning, Maia…” They stood up and greeted me on their own. Once everyone had stood up, I greeted them again a “good morning” and I let them sit. Whew! So much for asking for some respect. It’s a Lit class. We were supposed to discuss “The Iliad.” I would ask questions (Socrates style) and let them answer. I would not allow, however, people talking at the same time. As an authority in the classroom, I try to moderate the discussion as well, setting up the rule that they should raise their hand if they want to answer. At times, I allowed them to talk even if they did not raise their hands as long as nobody else was talking. I would signal some students to stop talking and wait for the one already speaking to finish first. I think I got the discipline that I expected but I’m sure that it’s not a master teacher’s standard. It is also in that moment that I realized that I really have to master the subject matter if I want to also address the idea of authority in the classroom. It is difficult to be thinking about your lesson and thinking about how to discipline the class without sacrificing the friendly relation between the student and the teacher. It is so difficult! But it’s worth the initiation for the future that is still ahead of me.

And yet, another class that is very different from the first years: the second years. With the first years, authority is very important. They are the type who do not have initiative and depend a lot on teacher’s commands. The second years, on the other hand, have a lot of initiative if not an overabundance of it. I really love this class. They do not need motivation. They have a lot of energy to spill out for your class. Some doodle in class—at least they are quiet!—but I seldom get their attention. Besides they are already second high school and I want to show them that I respect freedom very much only up to the point that they are not disturbing the class. So doodling is fine for me. (I did it anyway before so I completely understand the way they feel!) Well, if she’s been doodling in my class for n times already, I would sometimes get her attention by directing to her a question for the discussion. For instance, last week we tackled one character in the General Prologue of “The Canterbury Tales”. When I noticed someone drawing in her notebook, I referred to her character and asked her, “so what does your drawing say about the Monk?” I felt very sarcastic! Was I? But I did get her attention. But was it correct? This is why I would ask them to evaluate me as a teacher. (Actually, one student—the more quiet one—said that I was! )They do not know much about a good teacher (theoretically speaking), but their comments and suggestions help. Anyway, despite the fact that they are doodling, they still listen, and I know they do because they make comments about their classmates’ answers.

Oh yeah, there was also something very different in today’s class with the second years: the top students were out for a seminar in Woodrose, their sister school. When I heard that they were out, I did not know what to expect with the class—was it going to be as lively as before or was it going to be a quiet one? And so the period came and I entered their classroom. The class was well-behaved. When we started the discussion, I was surprised that the class was even noisier! More students were able to make more side comments than ever as if without any hesitation. Everyone was giving in their insights whether they were right or wrong. They were completely enjoying the discussion! I don’t know, one reason could be because the class was after their break or another reason could be because the top students were out and they feel less intimidated to speak out. I heard voices of students I never heard before! It was amazing. I even enjoyed it more with them today. Sigh…of course, I cannot keep the good ones out of the class, can I? I wonder how I can remedy this kind of situation. I want my objectives to be met you know!
Oh well, back to the old drawing board for me I guess…

12 February 2001, Monday

Another Monday after doing some sports over the weekend and late nights. I just wanted to sleep! But then again, I can’t afford. I had to go to school. When I reached the faculty room, our acting level coordinator reminded all of us to go to the other building to do the flag ceremony. Oh yes, I have been a delinquent teacher and the students do not feel my presence there anymore. Again, I felt guilty not going this morning because I know I had to be a good example for the students who had to walk from one building to another, stay under the warmth of the morning sun, and sing the National Anthem which does not have any effect on them. I thought that I needed time to prepare myself for the 25-minute class of the second years. The students came back from the elementary building and went to their classroom. As I was gathering my things to go to my first class, I noticed that there was a teacher inside my classroom! I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I needed an explanation for the loss of my time. The only reason I had was that the Algebra teacher had the schedules changed and that they did not inform me of the changes. I thought it was fine until I got a phone call from the elementary level coordinator apologizing for not informing me of the changes and that my Reading 7 was ongoing and I only have seven minutes left to teach them. She asked what else she can make the students do for the missed class and I thought that it was silly to still give them anything. I might as well give it a free time for them and just see them for their second period. So I went and this time ready to give a quiz. The questions in the quiz, as expected, are objective ones. When I announced the quiz, you could see them taking a last look on their handouts and hear them passing some names from the story. When I noticed those, I told them that the quiz is supposed to check their long term memory and not their short term memory of things that they just read 3 minutes ago. This is something that I want my students to keep in mind. I wonder if they would be able to…After the quiz, the discussion again began and my little performances.

I had to meet the second years next. Five of them were absent since they had to attend a seminar in Woodrose. Since it was a leadership seminar, of course, the ones who are out are the top five of the class. I thought I would never be able to carry out a decent discussion with them. Discussion came and we did not have a decent enough discussion not because they were not talking, but because they were all hyper! They made a lot of side comments here and there. I don’t even remember how many times I had to make them quiet. But what is good about this class is that they are sensitive and they have the initiative to really keep quiet, but after a minute, they start talking loud again. Actually, it was a healthy kind of talking because they were not talking about other things, but they were talking about the pilgrims in the tale. People really love talking about other people. I commented to them that just because the five of their better classmates are out, they already start becoming very hyper. One of the hyperactive ones answered and said that it is because they are absorbing the ideas of their absent classmates which give them overflowing ideas they cannot contain in their heads anymore. Then, I realized that the rest of the class get intimidated with the five absentees. They looked freer and even the quieter ones started saying something. It was a wonderful sight seeing them all wanting to contribute something to the discussion. However, I think I need to learn how to handle such situations in which everyone wants to say something.

After my class with them, there was an announcement that classes will be suspended due to the Popoy Lagman rally in the University of the Philippines, Diliman. That leaves me 10 minutes with the first years. I was prepared to give them a quiz and so I still went to see them and gave my quiz. They did not complain like they used to and just obeyed what I said. I was pretty kind to them today because I would give them clues to the answers. It was to compensate for the lack of review that they had before the quiz. One student was seeking some exceptions on her part saying that she was absent last meeting and she did not know there was a quiz and nobody told her. I told her that it is her responsibility to ask. She made other excuses which I did not allow to pass. The long bell rang at 2’oclock and I dismissed the class.

8 February 2001, Thursday

Another day of commuting for me but there was more willingness because it is two days after having classes in UA&P. My regular schedule on Thursdays allows me to have free time in the morning to deal with some of my tutees and prepare for the classes I will have that afternoon. Well, sometimes you just have to let go of these heavenly situations. Their Composition teacher was absent. Since it would be too much to give them free time again, I took the initiative to take the schedule of their Compo classes. I had to advance my Literature class hoping also that the Compo teacher arrives that afternoon to take my regular Lit schedule.

So I went first to the first years. Well, it’s not that I wanted to go to them first, but because it was the first of the absent teacher. We immediately started discussion on “The Iliad.” Actually the discussion was more of the introduction for the book. We talked about the assignment I gave them. I let them talk about it because if not, they would think that it was useless. I discussed with them the Trojan War and how it started. I told them that “The Iliad” is an epic that starts in medias res or in the middle of things. Then I became very conscious about my teaching style that tends to be too Socratic for them. I always have a question in the back of my head that I haven’t answered: am I expecting too much from my students that I teach them like they are college students? The question just dawned on me when I realized that I gave them so many theses writing assignments to do. To add to it, I just talked to a Woodrose student who is 2nd year and told me how their Lit classes went in their school. Big difference! She told me that the teacher asks questions whose answers to are found in the text, they just have to look for them. That is definitely not the teaching style that I uphold. I thought that these low level thinking questions are only for beginning readers and they are not. Am I prematurely making them think too much?! Come to think of it, if I teach them like college students, what excitement would they still have when they go to College especially if they go to UA&P?

Then I have two periods of Lit with the second years. Thank God I had a game ready for them that I could allow to spend one whole period. I entered their classroom and divided the class into two. The game was a variation of charades. They are all lined up facing the back. The first one in the line listens to the teacher to give them an occupation. They are supposed to act it out to the next in line with the rest of the students’ backs are turned against them. The second person, when she is ready to act out the occupation, taps the third and will try to guess and imitate her to show the fourth, so on and so forth. I prepared five occupations and they wanted more. How could I refuse after seeing them enjoying the game? So I gave them two more extra occupations then we all heard the long bell rang. We finished the game and I told them to go back to their seats. The game was not merely a game without any connection with the discussion. When I have a game for the class, it should always be connected with the lesson because I don’t want to waste time with useless energy. This is why I seldom have games with the students and they get excited when we have them. It was a good physical exercise for them that loosened them up for a discussion. Hey, maybe I should try to be more creative in thinking of more games for all my classes because it does contribute in the learning conditions of the students. I should most especially do this for the Grade 7 because I always have double periods with them and for the first years whom I have to jolt to start talking.

After the second years, I have the grade 7 students waiting for me. Before I started the class, I greeted them good afternoon, wrote the outline of activities in store for them for the next two periods, and went out to photocopy something for the class. We already started discussing the simplified version of the “Odyssey” of Homer before. When I came back from the photocopying, I asked them to get ¼ sheet of paper for a short quiz. I had to think of the questions to give them right there and then which should not happen. My quizzes are very simple. They are always objective and I use it as a technique to teach my students to read the assigned chapters for the day. They have a tendency not to read at all. After the quiz, we started discussing the “Adventure of Ulysses.” With their class, I always have to make them relate to the story by making them empathize with the characters. I always have to analogize the feelings of the characters to their circumstances so they understand how the characters actually feel in the story. Most of the time, I had to exercise my acting abilities in front of my students and they like it because you are different from their other teachers who do not have to act out the lesson. Is it becoming to emotional in approach? Reflecting on this question, I don’t think that it is becoming too emotional because I then have to discuss with them that these emotions have to be overcome by the characters because if not, it will become their tragic flaw. One of my hidden objectives is to teach the students how to think and be prudent in their actions. Stories always deal with a plot and a plot moves because of the decisions made by the characters. They have to see this whenever they read the story. A very good example of literature that talks about the consequences of man’s actions is Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” which is one the reasons why I like the play so much.

5 February 2001, Monday

Another week. I almost dreaded going to work today after a very good weekend. I said “dreaded” because I dread the commuting part of my profession. Well, it’s part of it. We, teachers, do not get enough salary anyway to get a decent car. Reflecting on this just now, I thought that I am not fulfilling my career very well. I know, and I have heard it, that if you really love what you are doing, the difficult things that go with it do not matter anymore. For some reason, they still matter to me. Maybe because I am still new at the profession and I have to admit the fact that I am not your Mr. Pagsy of the Ateneo. But hey, I know I have to do it because I cannot abandon my students. So I went through the grueling pollution—noise and air!—and the physical stress that it can give you trying to go against the law of inertia otherwise you’ll be thrown out of the jeepney!

It’s a Monday. There was a flag ceremony held in the other building which is a 3-minute walk from the high school building. Since extra time is spent walking from one building to another, 10 minutes of my time with the second years are always eaten up. So I always have at most 25 minutes left with them. Why does it happen to this class that I enjoy being in? Today, we discussed about the background of “The Canterbury Tales.” Again, I had to tell them a story to be interested. So I told them the story of Thomas a Becket who was murdered in the Canterbury Cathedral. That is the Cathedral where the pilgrims in the tale are headed to. It caught their attention and, as if automatically, asked if there was a movie. One student started sharing and said that she knows that there is a play about it and that she saw it in UA&P. It started an informal conversation and it made the atmosphere very light. Everyone is at ease to say just anything without the fear of being laughed at or making a wrong comment. (There is no such thing as a wrong comment! Just out of place…) I have always thought that being friends—or informal and casual—with the students is plus factor for a teacher because it is easy to talk to them and start a discussion. The difficult part is to know where to draw the line. Whereas when authority is exercised in the classroom, I believe that it scares the students giving the learning atmosphere a stiff and humid one not allowing a single thought breeze through out of their minds. The good thing with this one is you have control over your students and enjoy the sound of silence and savor the sound of your own voice. (I mean to be a little sarcastic as a Literature teacher.) The latter is what happens with my first year class. They are just too behaved. The long bell rang sweetly to my ears and dismissed the class.

As I was walking towards the faculty room, I saw the three first year students—they’re always together—I mentioned in my last entry. I remembered the responsibility I gave them and asked them first how the play went. One of them reacted and said that the play went well that their parents were just laughing at some of the characters. They also said that the background music was much better and that I missed the whole thing. (I missed it yesterday because I had to stay home for family reasons.) So I asked if they were able to tape it and they gave me a big NO that banged into my eardrums! My blood rushed through my veins and to my brain that I thought I’m going to get hypertension right in front of them. So I asked for an explanation. They told me: (1) No one had a video camera among them; (2) They did not know that I was not going to school and see them; and (3) The one who had the camera did not go. Talk about patience in its most heroic degree! I did not burst but contended them saying that they should have been responsible to look for a video camera that they can borrow and that whether I was there or not there, they should have taped it for documentation purposes. They gave me lame excuses and not reasons. I don’t remember how I ended it but the next thing I knew was I was already inside the faculty room, seated and feeling very frustrated. I mean, after having heard all the beautiful comments from the teachers and some parents, the teacher will not be able to appreciate it? Harrumph! And I still have to see them for a class…

Hours passed and I started hearing my other colleagues talking about our ever “lovable” first year class. The teachers would always have some sort of a problem with them at least once in a day. They were talking about students deliberately cutting class trying to excuse themselves saying that they did not hear the bell ring or the teacher was not there in the room yet so they decided to go down. The conversation about it just before your class with them will really make you stay put and not go to class. Then again, my conscience bugged me and went to their class. There’s a catch though. I entered their class fuming within me. I released it by telling the class that those who were present yesterday and who did their jobs will get extra points for recitation while the others will not get anything. Of course, the three students reacted. They defended themselves saying that they were there as well and that they also deserve to get even just a little. Here I go again, the kind-hearted teacher, I gave in and told them “Fine. You’ll get credits for being there.” I can never be a real mean teacher ever. I would burst once in a while and last for just a few minutes and I’ll be fine again which happened with this class when we started the discussion proper on “The Iliad” by Homer.

1 February 2001, Thursday

The things I had today were all very simple and should I say, a real heaven for a teacher. I never really liked the idea that the teacher is just a facilitator because I still believe that the teacher still has a certain degree of authority over her students. To remove this authority will be giving in to a lot of subjectivity in the learning process of the students. There are still some objective facts that the teacher needs to be the one to explain to the students. But times do come when you have to be flexible. One of those times came today.

As I said in the beginning, I had a taste of heaven today, and heaven for a teacher is to be free of any worry on what to teach her students. Honestly, I was not prepared at all for a class because I had to finish some requirements for UA&P. (This is why I decided to just go part time student next year.) So I decided to apply what I learned from my Pedagogy classes on reflective learning and the idea that the teacher is just a facilitator. I spent the second period of the grade 7 letting them visit the library and do research! Thank God again for the library! I made them research on the Greek gods and goddesses and mythology in general. I have my hands free of them for a while. However, as a teacher, of course I felt a little guilty letting them do that just because I was not prepared for their class.

Another heaven for me was the first year class because they just had to practice “New Yorker in Tondo.” Of course, I still had to oversee what they were doing and made sure that they were doing something especially three of them. I actually feel bad policing them, but with their behavior, they are asking for it. I had to give them a role to do otherwise, they would be just loitering. So I went up to them and told them to bring a video camera on Sunday to tape the play. They looked as if they took me seriously so I trusted them. I believe that trust is a basic necessity to build between teachers and students because it is the key to learning. It’s part of the bonding that leads to authentic learning as what I learned after watching “Not One Less” for Learning Management class. The long bell rang and I dismissed them.

Then I had a class with the ever lively second years. As usual they are very participative. Come to think of it, they are not as challenging as the other two levels that I teach. They are naturally talkative and vocal about their ideas which I appreciate a lot as a teacher because participation shows interest. I introduced the new piece of literature that they are going to take, Geoffrey Chaucer’s “The Canterbury Tales,” by doing a word web. I wrote the word TALES on the board and told them to blurt out word or words that they can connect with TALES. Funny and far-related words came out such as prince charmings and damsels in distresses. After a discussion on why and how those words relate to TALES, I told them a British tale. It was a serious to humorous tale that I got their attention and interest on the subject matter. You can see in their faces that they like hearing stories that they can relate to. They like it and they listen.

30 January 2001, Monday

Today is the first day of school after their 3rd Quarterly Exams. They are still recuperating from the stress the exams gave them. (The stress either comes from their struggle to get up and go to school or from their authentic desire to get a good mark from the exams.)

Last Thursday, one of my second year students went to the faculty room and asked to talk to me. Her first line was, “Miss, we can’t do it today.” Apparently, they still have to fulfill one more requirement for the 3rd Quarter: a play of their choice of scene from “Hamlet.” I immediately told her, “What do you mean? You had almost one whole week of no classes due to the People Power II thing and you still were not able to practice?” She defended herself and said, “Miss, not everyone was allowed to go out of their houses.” In my mind I was telling myself, “Hay naku, these kids are really being spoiled. They are deprived of this experience which schools can never teach them.” Then I finally told her, “Fine. I understand your situation. I’ll be giving you the Lit period later for you to practice and I want it presented on Monday.” So the day, which is today, came. Literature is their first subject and you can see them right after the flag ceremony running in and out of their classroom to the rest room changing into their costumes, others preparing the music and the set of their play. But boy! it took them almost an hour just to prepare for their 15-minute play! I had to take their 2nd period with their teacher’s permission. I told them to call me when they are ready. But since they were not calling me I decided to go out and demand that they start already. So they told me to sit on my chair already and waited for another 10 minutes for them to actually start. The play went on, some 1st year students trickled in to watch their ates, and I was impressed with the combined talents of my 19 2nd year students. The play impressed me so much but not the wait. At the end of their performance, I gave my comments both positive and negative. Their music was just great and their acting as well. What impressed me too is that everyone had a role—small or big—to play. I was very proud of them, but I never gave the credits to myself because I know that it was all their effort and talents and not my training. They were very creative. I dismissed them and told them to fix their mess, went back to the faculty room and the 3rd period teacher, who happens to be the level coordinator, got mad at me saying that I took her class unnecessarily. Well, should I say that it’s really part of teaching life? Maybe…

Ah yes, my “favorite” class: the first years. They already have an image with me because they were my students for three years and I know them to be mere sacks of rice with eyes that stare only at one spot. They what you call “NRs” or those people who do not show any reaction whatsoever, except for one. I have always had a hard with this class enthusing them and motivating them. I tried games. Fine, they are alive and kicking during the games, but when discussion starts, they immediately revert back to their NR mode. When I asked them to make an evaluation of me as a teacher last quarter they told me that my monotonous voice makes them sleepy and lose their focus. So I was more conscious with the tone of my voice and shifted from a shouting and formal relationship with my students to a more casual conversational style of teaching. I then noticed that they were more comfortable reciting during class. What I have to do now is balance respect, refined behavior, and lively discussion. With the second years, I really do not have a problem because they naturally talk and with sense. You can see their interest except for some who are really quiet. Going back to my first year class, I did not discuss anything with them because I wanted to give the time for them to practice for the Open House this Sunday that showcases their talents for their parents to see. They presented “New Yorker in Tondo” for 2nd quarter and it was very good! That was the first time I saw them really working with a lot of interest. So I decided to let them present it to their parents. I allowed this to happen because I love it when I see them enjoying more than suffering—which most college professors tend to do. I told them that I was going to let them practice for the whole week. I was also there during their practices. I also gave them some reminders and suggestions to improve their play.

Next was the Grade 7. This is another unique class. If the second years are easy to handle, the first years are NR, the grade 7 students are smart and clever. The grade 7 can get what they want from the teacher very well without you noticing that they are actually implementing a tactic. I know them already, thank God, that I don’t usually give in. Their goal is not to have class and just get free time. When I enter their classroom for class, they always have that “Miss Castro is there already” look. After all the greetings, they would be the ones to speak first and they see to it that they are the ones. Usually they would start the class with a delaying tactic by asking a lot of unrelated questions such as “Miss, have you seen this and that movie,” “Miss, can we watch the video we made on ‘Merchant of Venice’?” It could last for 15 minutes if they want to and if you let them. Since I know them, I would give them 5 minutes to do it, and remind them already of the class by saying “Class, we are already starting on a new topic.” Then you would hear a slow “Aaaawww.” But what is good about them is that they still talk and participate in the discussion. They are all smart…all nine of them. Yes, just nine of them. This is actually the class that I first handled as an adviser. So for today, we discussed Mythology.

Well, that’s it for today. Writing cannot contain every single detail that my mind has captured for today and as well as for the other days.

My First School to Teach In

I started working with Rosehill, as it is easier called, right after I finished all my requirements in order to graduate from my now alma mater. Since graduation ceremonies in UA&P are always held in June, I had to start teaching even without graduating! In fact, I graduated the Sunday before or after the first week of school. I can never forget the reactions of my advisory class, the 5th grade, when I told them that I just graduated the day before. They were all amazed! It’s because they never had a teacher who is relatively young. They have always had teachers who are already mothers or at least wives. They were pretty observant.

Anyway, Rosehill is a very young school when I entered. It was only eight years in existence and it is located way there in the mountains of Antipolo. (I think the location explains the population of the school in both its students and staff.) The location never stopped me. My first reason? I already wanted to earn to support my basic necessities especially when you are not living with your well-off family. Very human and practical, isn’t it? The second reason is much more ideal: I felt I had a mission to make my students learn to love the most despised subject of all time—Math. When I told the Executive Director of the school that I loved the subject, she thought that it was the only requirement she would ask from a math teacher. So I got the job.

After she told me that I got a load in teaching Math, it only dawned on me that my course was not even compatible with what I am teaching! I felt incompetent at first, but I thought I’d give it a try. I was to teach Math for Grade 5, 6 and 7, and the Director even added Science 7 to my load! (Thinking that I love Math, she figured I’d also be good in Science.) Thank God I survived with the help of the Teacher’s Edition Math and Science books available! It was a real adventure for me especially since I did not have any training on pedagogy. Thank God also for those numerous seminars PAREF organized for its teachers.

In my second school year in Rosehill, they already removed my Science load and just gave mea teaching load in Math 6, 7, Algebra I, Religion 6, Spanish 4…all only for two quarters each except for Math 7. Besides that, they also gave me an advisory class: the first year high school. To top it all of, I also spent one semester taking masteral units in UA&P in Development Education. This is what kind of training I had in my beginnings in the teaching profession. Whew!
With my desire to get those masteral units, I thought it would be better to go full time student and part time teacher. I started well and I thought it was a good set-up, but when requirements started piling on me from both UA&P and Rosehill, things are getting worse! I became mediocre in my studies and not being able to prepare my lesson plans well and most of the time not being able to do them. (My level coordinator is just too understanding with me that she does not look for them anymore. She does make half-jokes about my shortcomings though, which I take with a lot of guilt.) Since I don’t have a car, I have to ride the public utility jeepneys with a placard saying “Antipolo-Tanay” every Monday and Thursday. Just imagine the dust and pollution I inhale, the fare that costs me one good lunch for that day, the tiredness that the one hour can give you sitting in the jeepney (“upong-diez” as they would say), the 500 meter walk to the jeepney stop, and the tons of books you have to lug with you to school.

These are the conditions which I have to contend will as I journey towards this dirty and rugged beginning of my career. I hope the road gets more concrete and softer to tread on as years pass by…The following is a day to day account of my travel in the 4th leg of this school year towards this end called service.

18-20 October 1999, Monday - Wednesday

18 October 1999, Monday

I realized the importance of exercises and one-on-one tutorials as an effective means to develop mathematical skills. I gave them a seatwork today and I brought with me a bagful of patience so I could devote time to those who are in need. They appreciated it very much. There was an atmosphere of wanting to learn. Most of the students were not hesitant to ask me questions and I like that as a teacher because I know that humility is the first step to learning. And raising their hands for a question was a desire to learn. The raising of the students' hands is a joyous affirmation of wanting to learn and the exercise of a lot of virtues. Honestly I get excited when they raise their hands for either an objection, a question, a statement, or a permission.



19 October 1999, Tuesday

After the seatwork yesterday, I thought they are ready for a quiz. I gave them a quiz today and I was happy that there are less people who asked for help. In this case, I am happy because I know that they already know what to do and that they have a certain percentage of mastery of the skill. They got the lesson. I was more patient this time. I was more generous this time because I have fallen in love with my students. I have advanced from loving the subject to a love for the learners. Now I guess it would be easier for me to teach them with a lot of patience. However, I cannot say that this will go on forever that I am always excited. I still believe in that statement that "my spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." It can still happen that I lose my enthusiasm. But what I won’t lose is the fact that I know I have a responsibility for these students in trying to imbibe in them a love for learning.


20 October 1999, Wednesday

I checked the quiz today. To my surprise and pride, a lot of them got a perfect score in the quiz yesterday! When I gave them the results of the quiz, they were extremely exuberant that one student wants to hug me and another one wants to treat all her classmates. That was my gift for them: the joy that they feel in winning over their presumed incapacity to understand Algebra. I was able to make them realize that Algebra is a subject they can actually understand with their patience and mine.

15 October 1999, Friday

First thing in the morning today, my level coordinator went up to me and told me that three of my students told her that I made a mistake in what I taught them yesterday. At first, it was hard for me to accept especially for a choleric person like me. But I had to accept the fact that I committed that mistake. So I reflected for a while about it and realized that hey, I think I am good teacher after all because I have students who learned and dared to criticize me. I have always told them before that they should be critical of everything I write so they learn how to think. But this is the first time that they were critical and that they were correct.

I entered the classroom gathering up the courage to be humble and accept my mistake. First I was afraid to admit it because I was thinking that my students have lost their trust for me as a teacher. But I guess, they know that their teachers do not know everything that they ask them. I clarified my mistake with them because I myself was confused with it after the mistake was pointed out to me. But again, I just have to accept the fact that the solution set is a null set and not a "no solution set." I was happy.

14 October 1999. Thursday

The class today was more interesting because I started the class by talking about what interests them most: shopping. I asked them what the price ranges are in their favorite shop (it turns out to be Greenhills!). What I wanted was interaction and I got interaction with this motivation. They were sharing each other's opinion about prices in the shops. I gave the stage to them for a few minutes so I begin the class actively rather than passively. Well, I thought I made my point and they were more participative in class afterwards. They were asking questions and criticizing me. I think I have to spend more time thinking of things that interests them and really see its relation to Algebra. I remember what a senior teacher mentioned before: a teacher should look at things from the point of view of the subject that she teaches so she could have more realistic and relevant things to say. In my case, I have to see inequalities when I shop. I have to see absolute value in distances…It's kinda hard to do because I cannot always think mathematically, otherwise, I'll be a walking mathematician.

13 October 1999, Wednesday

Since the results were not favorable, I gave a make-up quiz to them saying that I will get the highest grade between the two quizzes. Actually, I asked them first whether they want to take the re-test then or the next day. They chose to do the re-test today. I gave again another quiz and again reminded them of what they were supposed to do. As what I would do, I went around checking on the students overseeing their works to make sure that they answered properly without telling them the answers to the quiz of course. They finished the quiz.

I checked their quizzes and I was happy that the results were more favorable this time! I can see that they kept their mistakes in mind and learned from it. They remembered their mistakes more than what they heard. But you know, there are still some people who do not want to learn from their mistakes and wants to always be guided and fed. I am worried for this particular student of mine who is like this. She only gets high grades when I am helping her out. But when she is left on her own, she could not survive. I wonder if she ever was dependent on her yaya when she was young.

12 October 1999, Tuesday

The class yesterday was really something. I thought maybe it is about time that I give them a quiz after having tediously discussed the lesson. So I gave. I would go around the classroom while they answer the quiz. I would try to help them by reminding them of what they were supposed to do. Inside I was thinking whether what I was doing is healthy for them. Well, I thought, it does help them because at least they feel my support for them. So I did help the needy and those who ask.

I checked the quizzes and the result was not so favorable. They still forgot some things that they have to do even if I reminded them. Simply, I concluded, they were not listening.

11 October 1999, Monday

Today, the class is missing five students as a consequence of the major offense they committed. The class, in effect, was unusually quiet. Everybody seemed to be pulled down by gravity. There was no trace for enthusiasm. To add to that, I was not feeling so well, too. I myself felt heavy that day and in that class. I was wondering how I am going to hack the job of being a teacher. To add more to what was already there, the plan for that day was a little less interactive. I was caught between trying to cover up all the lessons to be discussed before the quarter ends and trying to make it lively. We still had to check the homework I gave them over the weekend. To check the homework was already 20 minutes out of the class time. But I find it very helpful to waste time checking the homeworks because I get to clarify the ideas. It was like a reteaching for them a mastery of the lesson. After checking the assignment, we had a short class still about inequalities.

This class was particularly a test of my patience with myself and the students. I did not want to teach in fact during that time because I felt weird, but I had to be there. That thought was enough to make me walk toward their classroom and teach. I had to extraordinarily exert more effort to check their homework and tediously discuss the numbers they had to answer. I was heavy, they were heavy…I wonder if they did learn something…in Algebra or in life.

8 October 1999, Friday

Algebra is not a favorable subject for the majority. For one, you don’t see Algebra. You have a hard time finding the use of Algebra. The lessons are all abstract. This is why I find it hard to motivate my students. How can I make Algebra interesting? I find Algebra interesting, in fact it is my most favorite subject, because I like the intellectual satisfaction it gives me when I know I am doing the right thing. I am amused with the fact that you get an answer is really amazing. This is how my students today in class were. You can hear them say "Wow! Ang galing," or "Yehey." For the teacher to hear these comments especially in a subject that most people have a hard time understanding is something that can make you happy because you were able to make them understand. But most of all, they have found joy in learning. They have felt excited for math for the first time. This is the same feeling I had for Math and see how I am now.

What I still want to get across to my students is the fact that Math is also a subject that trains them to think and sharpens their thinking skills. Math teaches one to think logically because mathematical statements and properties are logical. This is the use that I want to imbibe in my students. This is the idea that I want them to always remember and they will always have the will to want to learn more of math. This mission is still far from being realized though. I know this.

5 October 2005, Tuesday

Introduction

Last season, this class was only composed of 14 students. Fourteen happy people who seemed to be contented with one another. They are a group with the same ideals, sense of humor, culture, and interests. They graduated like a big family. One left for another school in search of a new environment.

This school year, these students are now in their first year in high school. Nine new students are added to this 13-student class. The new students come from schools like Assumption Antipolo, St. Paul Pasig, and Miriam College. The first years are now a mixture of different cultures, and mentalities.

Moreover, the 13 old students expected something from high school. They expect it to be the most fun part of their lives. And are they having fun? I don't think so. They have expected the wrong kind of fun now they are frustrated and stressed out with all the expectations on the side of their teachers. Are they coping? Will they survive surrounding by all these factors?

Tuesday

A student of mine went up to me the period before my class with them and told me that she just wanted to get out of the classroom because she feels like in a twilight zone of some sort when she is inside the room. (It was just the week after I learned that some of the students in this class did a major offense against the school like drinking liquor. The new students initiated it.) This girl just needed to air out what she thinks and how she feels. So I said to myself, I am going to give this class a big break to release the tension for a while.

It was a cloudy and windy day. I went inside their classroom and told them to get their books and notebooks and prepare to go downstairs to the playground and that we will have the class there. I asked someone to borrow a portable white board so I have something to write on. They were happy and excited about the idea. We had a lesson on inequalities. I am a teacher whose style is to always allude to something that my students can relate to. I gave examples of practical day-to-day inequalities: age limits, speed limits, and other limits. I told them that life seems to be surrounded by limits. I said this because I thought I can motivate them to learn more about inequalities because they are a fact of life. As I was teaching, I was observing my students: some were distracted, some were still trying to find a comfortable position, some had a hard time hearing my voice…

The class ended and I was not sure whether I got the lesson across or not. I guess all I wanted to happen was a break from the monotony of the classroom environment. Thinking that with this change, they can also start with a new outlook in life in whatever aspect. That with the new environment, they regain the enthusiasm of looking forward for the next class…But I know that I will not do this as often as every week. I'll do it when I deem it necessary.

Introduction to my Diary

The following set of dated accounts before August 5, 2005 are actually written as a requirement for my teaching practice courses for my MA in UA&P. Despite being requirements, the content are certified sincere and factual. :)

My Vocation as a Teacher

"Teaching will be the last profession I'd get into," I proclaimed to my high school classmates when we were choosing courses to take while we were applying for college. And where am I now? I am in the academe with all my heart and mind into teaching. Pretty ironic huh? But I guess, if it is your vocation, no matter how much you despise it, you'd find yourself walking the road toward it.

I discovered my vocation gradually. It was not like as if I just woke up one day and suddenly decided that I'd become a teacher. It was a slow process composed of several turning points in my life.

First, I owe it to my English teacher in college, Margaret Puyat. In the history of my first two years in UA&P, I have never really gotten a good grade for my papers. I would normally get a 3.0 (the passing mark at that time; equivalent to a 75%) and sporadically some 2.0s. It was when we were about to end the 2nd semester of my 2nd year college that I got my first A- grade for a paper from Margaret. This was a milestone in my life because it encouraged me a lot. It gave me hope that I can still work out on my compositions and actually get good grades. Ms. Puyat was one of those teachers who inspired me to teach because she gave me hope, I worked on my writing skills, and actually become good at it. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to also inspire others to do better in English especially those in the provinces.

Aside from Ms. Puyat, I also Rey Leutz in my list who was a vivacious teacher who always tried to act out Ancient History for us that made the classes entertaining. These two teachers, Margaret and Rey are my mentors perhaps wihtout their knowing it.

I originally was planning to take Business Administration thinking that I am cut out for the business and corporate world. But after a semester with Accounting, I realized that Business is not the course for me. I asked my dad [I had to since he was paying my tuition] if I could take Education instead. He denied me, and I decided to take another course close enough to education: General Humanitites. With my new-found course, I learned to love the arts, culture, and philosophy. I learned how to think deeper, analytically, and critically. I discovered the power of knowledge, and my power to acquire knowledge. I became enthralled by the idea of knowledge being power and my desire to share my knowledge to others began to mature.

I finished General Humanities and immediately applied to become a teacher in a private school. (In my following entries, you'll read more about my first years of teaching.) After a few months, I decided to take Master in Arts in Development Education also from UA&P. It was not diffcult to ask my dad this time maybe because he realized that it is really what I wanted. And so I did, and finished it in 4 years. :)

I have taught for four school years and already on my fifth year. I have tried to get into the corporate world, but I realized that my heart is really into teaching. My experience with NGO work was not naught. My one year stint strengthened my vocation as a teacher. I came to realize more that there is no other profession for me better than being an educator. :)

I love this job.